Sean & Pandora

Let's talk about your PTSD - How does it affect your life?

It affects everything. Literally, every aspect of my life is somehow affected by my PTSD. Whether it is my interactions with my family, friends, or my general social life (or lack there of). The little things that I used to take for granted are now significantly harder to do. Things like going to a restaurant with my family, being in the back of a grocery store, walking around the mall, etc. I often feel overwhelmed with a sense of danger when there isn’t any.

The best explanation I have ever seen for PTSD is the cup analogy. Everyone has a base amount of “good” stress – choices they make throughout the day like what to make for dinner, what to wear that day, general work, etc. When something bad happens “bad” stress is introduced. These are things like juggling finances, getting fired, and struggling with relationships.

For people without PTSD, the cup has the base “good” stress and plenty of room to accommodate the “bad” stress so they can handle it. They might feel overwhelmed with the increase but it is manageable.

People with PTSD have good and bad stress like everyone else but we struggle with a significant amount of PTSD that fills up the majority of our cup so when the “bad” stress is introduced it overflows our cup. It means that sometimes we overreact to situations – like dirty dishes in the sink or the toilet paper roll being on backward. They may seem minor, but they are the tipping point that causes everything to spill over.

It's hard to live a life like that. I have come a long way since when I was first diagnosed but there are still times that I struggle. I have tried so many different medications, but nothing works for me and frankly, I don’t want to be a zombie. I want to be able to live my life and be there for my kids.